We Are Friends of Gold

Better Bright and Bubbly – on to the B’s, see?
February 3, 2011, 3:57 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

So I had my super happy post, and all of a sudden I felt all self-concious, like I’m not supposed to be that happy, or at least not publicly. I consider myself an optimist no matter what. Even when I’m bummed and mopey, I always expect things to get better. But I know that a good chunk of the population doesn’t so much love that. It’s not even so much that the general population doesn’t like positivity, but they connect on shared misery. I got self-concious and stopped writing. I was worried about who might see what I’m saying and if it would make me seem silly, girlish, daft, naive.

And I can’t seem to get away from it, either. I wanted to keep writing somehow, so I started thinking about a book to write. Just a shot in the dark let’s see what comes out of this little bit every day kind of thing. All I could think about, in terms of plot, is the different ways of looking at the world, optimism vs pessimism. It seemed like this total soap opera to me, I wouldn’t be able to turn away I’m sure if I watched the story I was proposing unfold. But as I was nailing down characters and all that, I saw more and more of my own story, mother-daughter relationships imploding, clashes of minds and this subtle emotional drama stuff happening. It didn’t seem interesting enough anymore. It was like my stab at creativity was turning more ‘dear diary’ than ‘dear Oscar.’ Not that I have any illusions of winning an Oscar.

Anyway, I’m back to say I’m going to just go ahead and keep writing here. And I’m going to stop telling myself that happiness dripping all over everything is not ok. I’ve already relegated much of my drab Winter wardrobe to the top rack in the closet even though the weather man won’t give me the go-ahead for that move for another month or two. A certain man whose opinion I listen to closely said something to the effect of some of those colors I’m drawn to looking like they belong to someone who hates their parents. And I don’t. And while I stand by mustard and ochre and all of the colors between, I see what he means. Not to mention I’m SO sick of this cold dreary weather. As with most things in life, I’m deciding that it is heading into Spring and so it will be.

The exciting thing about my cheery disposition and my attempt at brightening my wardrobe is, I now have a way to document it! I don’t intend to make this into a personal style blog by any means. but all of this rambling would be so much more fun with pictures, no?

Now all I have to do is learn how to use the darned thing.

Later, kids!


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